Put him in a small area that's been childproofed and offer him a few of his favorite toys or books. Start playing or reading with him. After he's involved in an activity, remove yourself from his immediate vicinity.
Babies under 1 can't be left completely alone, so sit a few feet away and offer words of encouragement every few minutes, which will give your baby a sense of security, recommends Lerner. As he gets older, you can retreat to the other side of the room or leave it entirely for short periods of time. Be sure to stay within earshot and peek in regularly to ensure his safety. Offer him a few words of acknowledgement about what he's doing before you leave again.
But what if your child stops playing as soon as you do? Try this: Play with him for a few seconds, then walk away for a few seconds. Return to play. Keep up this pattern for a few days so your child begins to understand that when you leave, he can expect you to return.
Eventually he'll become more interested in his toys than in your comings and goings. Once baby understands that she has an identity apart from her parents, separation anxiety rears its head. Because babies have such a limited grasp of time, when you're out of sight, even for a moment, they have no idea when you're coming back.
They often get upset and cry or cling. Surprisingly, the best antidote for such clingy behavior is to let baby initiate alone time. If he crawls into a nearby room, wait a minute or two before you follow him. If you need to leave him for a minute, tell him you're going and reassure him with your voice when he fusses rather than rushing back to him.
It may take some time, but eventually he'll learn that being on his own isn't so scary after all. Sometimes it's not the child who resists solitary play -- it's Mom or Dad.
Objects with multiple uses—like blocks, pots and pans, and cardboard boxes—are especially great for encouraging solo play, because all those possibilities can keep kids occupied longer. The same goes for toys that require a little more work to play with such as objects with buttons, Velcro, or zippers. In addition to considering the type of toys you provide, focus on the quantity. Having a large number of toys can actually make a child more distracted; like adults, toddlers can become overwhelmed when they're presented with too many choices.
In fact, stashing items in the toy box for a few weeks can end up giving them a certain appeal. Acredolo explains. In other words, putting an object away for a while and then reintroducing it is one of the simplest ways to encourage your toddler to play with it for an extended period of time—all on his own.
Going Solo: Independent Play in Toddlers. By Ashley Phillips. Save Pin FB More. Parents Magazine. Be the first to comment! No comments yet. Close this dialog window Add a comment. Add your comment Cancel Submit.
Close this dialog window Review for. Back to story Comment on this project. Tell us what you think Up until now the only semi-helpful advice I could find an activity they can do quietly by themselves play-doh, coloring, or whatever , start it with them and then walk away. Even still she intermittently asks me to come over and do it with her, and she is very persistent. TV immobilizes her, but it makes me sad to have her in front of the TV so much.
If other kids come over she will play with them happily without regard to where I am, and she has no problem going to our church nursery. It makes sense, especially with a kid like her, that they cannot see you or even get to you. Wish me luck! Just wanted to come back and say thank you! This afternoon she went outside by herself to play in the sandbox without asking me to come along and without me telling her she needs to have independent play time.
She just did it! She has been playing out there for at least a half hour, having fun and working through her frustrations with the sand toys.
No sign of her stopping yet! I felt like Mary was speaking for me about my 31 month old daughter when I read her comment. I have a similar situation on my hands, but no sibling so she is always up in my business. She was much more capable of independent play last year when I ran a daycare out of my home. They were all under two just toddling around doing their own things independently as those of that age set do.
Of course there were squirmishes I would have to deal with, but for the most part they happily played during the unstructured portions of our day. I had an amazing rhythm going and it was awesome. Then, we lost all our clients in a short time to random positive events; moving for a better job, going back on maternity for good, etc. So we closed our home care and moved. It was traumatic for her to loose her sibling like friends, and we are still doing our best to recover the damage.
Your post has given me an answer — thank you! She does NOT like being without her mama. I had to leave for 6 hours the other day and she cried to her grandmother the whole time I was gone. Not so good! Oh sweet little girl missing her mama. And I think willingness to play alone also comes in waves with their developmental milestones too. So glad i stumbled upon your page. I started putting a timer on her but that to me seems too pushy on my part. Blanca, yes and give it a few minutes.
Sometimes it takes a few minutes before they get over the fact they are alone, ha and then they are happy :. Great advice! My daughter will play alone sometimes, but other times will be hysterical if I leave the room. I think making it a part of our routine is a great idea. Thank you for this article.
I have 18 months twin boys. Do you suggest to separate them for independent playtime? Just stumbled upon this a few days ago. This kid screams all the time- he has an older brother and he has few words.
So I think the independent play was a nice break for him, because he screamed for maybe 20 seconds, and then started playing with his toys for 10 minutes! Thanks a million. KB, this is exactly it. Hi, my son does very well with unstructured independent play.
We have an open floor plan, so while he happily plays alone, he destroys the house in the process. Do you have any advice on getting him to play in his room with more structure? Currently, if I leave the room and shut the door behind me he will scream and cry. Might quiet-time specific toys help? What happens if you just put him in his room and close the door to play?
Or pull it nearly closed so you can see in? Hi Rachel! This post is awesome! I think some days my 3 and 5 year old could do this together, and some days separate. Is it too much to also have her do 45 min to an hour alone also in the morning? That seems like a lot of alone time which was why I was thinking maybe she and her brother could do it together. Thoughts on essentially 2 times a day of solo play for her? It seems like too much alone time in their rooms!
So if they are awake in the afternoon for a while then I skip the morning independent play. Any ideas about what an 4. Your book and your sleeping blog was my guardian angel during the newborn phase in my home. I still using your book until now! My boy is 14 months old and he is a very content boy. He sleep from 7pm — 8am and his is on 1 nap schedule from — 4pm.
All thanks to your book. However I would like to start with the independent playtime. Is it possibble to do it in the living room? Or do he need to be in his own bedroom only? I feel like he spend too much time in his bedroom because he is a very good sleeper. I hope you can help. Thank you for the reply. Do I need to be out of his sight during that time or I can be in the living room too but I do not involve in his independent time? That works too. I just happened to stumble upon this and have got some great ideas but I have a question.
If like to start independent play time but my husband works from home upstairs where his room is. Any suggestions for independent play time in an open play room? Thank you so much! I love the idea of having independent play time. My Daughter loves to play by herself but oftentimes I know she gets interrupted by my walking through the room or into the kitchen and then immediately she thinks its time to eat, even though she just ate. We currently live in a one bedroom apartment and her crib is in our bedroom, so she doesnt really have a room of her own.
Her toys are currently located in our living room, so finding a room where she can play by herself is really the challenge here. Any suggestions? Hi Rachel. I really have been loving your blog and wishing I found it earlier :0 My son will be 4 in 2 months and is an only child. He never went to daycare as I worked part time and my mom watched him the other 2 days.
Anyway, is it too late? We have a funky kind of house. Any suggestions would help….. Thank you for your wonderful blog!
0コメント