Imagine a drug addict stuck in an alley, unable to do anything but think about the drug, find the drug, do the drug … etc. Their life is the drug. It might be hard to imagine that something as common as daydreaming being that bad, but the mind is the singularly most powerful thing that we have.
The mind thought up and created all drugs. The mind is certainly more powerful than all drugs. Can you control when you enter a daydream? Is there a process? My brain is chaos, trying to make sense of it is like herding a bunch of rats. I just kind of, say, find a moment where I drift off and then let it happen. Some people are triggered by sound or images, are you? I would find myself drifting off into traffic. Anything monotonous can be a trigger. The stories take on a life of their own.
For example, there was this character who started out as a friend of my character, but then he just became this dark character, and he was just kind of mean, I could never get him to be nice, I could never get them to resolve their issues.
He became jealous of her other friends. He would always pop up. So I figured the only way to get rid of him would have to be some huge confrontation. He was obsessed with her, he wanted to have her as his plaything. Not sexually but just kind of like his Barbie doll. He would hold her at knifepoint. He would grab her. However, she had a friend who was a black belt in Karate and he would rescue her.
I just could never get rid of this guy and he would always show up and she would come back from France and be driving around with her sister character in the car and he would show up holding a knife. As he was leaning down, she grabbed the gun from his pocket and shot him. So he went there and her brother was by her bed and he tried to shoot her; her brother dove in front of the bullet and caught it in the shoulder — he was fine.
I do not approve of guns, by the way. There was a long recovery from her 18 stab wounds. I know this is long-winded, but the point is it took all of that just to get rid of this character. He had stalked her for ten years. For ten years, I could not get this character out of my life. I created him when I was 13! He kept popping back. So aside from murder and drama, what else do these characters do?
They love to have stimulating conversations. If you have trouble keeping up with me, imagine ten of me in a room! Do you have sex or relationships in the daydreams? My character has a husband figure.
I can masturbate in my brain. Has that sexual element always been a part of your daydream world? And anyway I personally think that the idea of reaching down there is pretty gross. When you are daydreaming and you are in public, do you ever talk to the characters or engage with them?
I often found myself making facial expressions. Now, where I live, there will always be crazy people walking around having full-on conversations with themselves. But in my head, my characters have this conversation, so I might react. Tell me more about how your outer and inner worlds contrast. Everyone is either a racist, homophobe, or on drugs. In my outer life, I was really, extremely depressed. I was fat. Nobody liked me, and when I say that, I really mean it.
I went to college, but I had a lot of trouble focusing. It was nearly impossible to pull myself out of my daydreams. You can read. I finally quit college. The characters definitely filled the emotional void left by feeling unloved by, and not loving, my mother. But I knew that it was distancing me from people in real life. The world draws you in so it makes it harder for you to interact with other people. What did you do after you left college?
I worked as a maid. I had to see these big old disgusting men and deal with their pee, which was everywhere. Then, when I was 20, I finally worked up the courage to leave my family. I moved to France and cut all contact. It was a lonely bliss.
A nightmare. I felt like a mistake. She went from job to job and relied on my older sister for emotional support. My sister would do everything mom told her and often threw me under the bus as a survival skill. She treated him like a saint just because he was willing to take us all in. But he was an awful human being — always angry.
He assumed everyone was stupid and talked down to them. He knew how to turn on the charm so people thought he was such a nice guy, but I saw the truth.
Behind closed doors, he would yell and scream and tell me that I was stupid or worthless. Did you stand up to him or did you retreat from the conflict? I lay around daydreaming. Then when I was with my family, I was the scapegoat. Everything that went wrong in that household was blamed on me.
According to everyone around me, I was fat, lonely, quiet, and lazy. I stayed indoors during recess, daydreaming. Yes, and they really did blame me for everything. If you have anxiety, you might daydream about the worst possible scenario. When my anxiety is high, for example, I overthink and imagine awful situations. This can make it even harder to concentrate on day-to-day tasks.
People who are particularly stressed can also use daydreaming as a tool for escapism, Volinsky explains. But it can be one of the many symptoms. Do you ever have unwanted, distressing thoughts? These are known as intrusive thoughts. They often seem pretty similar to daydreaming. Intrusive thoughts can happen to anyone from time to time, but they can also be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD.
OCD involves having obsessive thoughts which are basically intrusive thoughts that persist and then having compulsions or rituals to try to get those thoughts out of your head. I have OCD. So, I try to steer clear of high balconies. The good news is that therapy can address OCD and intrusive thoughts. Nowadays, I experience intrusive thoughts a lot less. Sometimes, dissociation can look like daydreaming.
But dissociation is different from daydreaming in a few key ways. If you find yourself emerged in daydreams for most of the time, it might be a case of maladaptive daydreaming. Maladaptive daydreaming is a widely misunderstood psychiatric condition that involves persistent, intense daydreams. The symptoms include lengthy periods of vivid daydreaming and struggling to carry out day-to-day tasks. Understanding the links between trauma and sleep is one step towards healing….
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Updated November 11, Written by Austin Meadows. Medically Reviewed by Heather Wright. What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming? Symptoms of Maladaptive Daydreaming Symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming may include: Intense, vivid daydreams that present as a story, with characters, settings, and plotlines Daydreams that are triggered by real-world events or sensory stimuli Unconscious facial expressions, repetitive body movements, or talking or whispering that accompany daydreams Daydreams that last for several minutes to hours A strong or addictive desire to keep daydreaming Trouble focusing and completing daily tasks due to daydreams Trouble sleeping A person can exhibit one or more of these symptoms.
Complications of Maladaptive Daydreaming Maladaptive daydreams can be so immersive and lengthy that the person dissociates from the world around them, negatively impacting their relationships, work or school performance, sleep, and daily life. Sign up below for your free gift. Your privacy is important to us. Was this article helpful? Yes No.
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